Evil eye, you schmuck!

Dear Evil Eye, 

Howdy do? I hope all is going well on the Dark Side, do convey my Hello to Darth Vader and the Storm Troopers. (Yes, I am a Star Wars nerd. Judge me all you like lesser mortals!)

The purpose of this letter is not to chat up though. This letter is to tell you that I do NOT appreciate your sadistic ways, they are cruel. The day I think all is going well for me, you have to screw things up and how! Either I end up being sick as dog or as moody as a crocodile but mostly sick! :/
Not cool man! Not. Cool. 

Tell me this, what would you do if your mother waved red chilies over your head and then burnt them while you had to stand to see if the gruesome aroma of dry chili hits you or not? If not, imagine getting an hour long talk about how easy it is for you to fall prey of all things evil or as my folks call it "Nazar lag gayi". And if they do burn, you are a goner, you really are! 

Cannot even imagine any of that can you? 

I have a bone of contention with the likes of you. Your sadistic pleasures are ruining my chances of living a red chili free life. And that is not all, the "put some kohl on to ward off the evil eye" is NOT working either. The result of which my already big eyes end up looking heeeeeuge and owl like! 

You are the bane of my existence. I don't like you. But we are all grown ups here (no really!) and I think it is time we come to an understanding. Leave me alone because.. well, just because! 

Stop being a schmuck! *angry glare*

Hater!

(No xoxo's for you!) :/